Prinsessan Lilian bloggar 3

Can I have your attention please! I still get a lot of invitations. Back from Nice last night I had three new messages waiting for me. People want me to come and hold speaches, look smart and smile and that stuff. No problems! Here's the deal:

I don't do festivals. I was asked to introduce Black Sabbath at Hultsfred some years back. The thing went well but the party after the gig took a turn for the worse, when Ozzy and I decided help ourselves to Tony Iommi's booze stash. He was very uncool about that and I was told to leave. Ozzy, the bastard, got to stay though. Unfair if you ask me.

I don't drink coffee. I repeat: I don't drink coffee! If I do, I'll definitely ruin the day for you. Let me put it this way: A flatulent princess is not too royal. It's not good for your image and it's not good for mine.
However, beer goes down well. To keep me lubricated and well-behaved all day, only a whole case will do (See tour rider below!)

I'm not a big fan of titles and that kind of crap. Just walk up to me and say "Hello Lil". However, jag inte prata någon bra svenska, so let's stick to English, shall we?

I prefer not to work with children or animals. If you, the reader, are a child or an animal, please give Madeleine a ring. She'll do anything.
Once she held a speach for The Three-Leg Dog Association in New York. That's the international organisation for dogs who've lost a back-leg. She barked away for 20 odd minutes and got a standing ovation (All present dogs stood on their front-legs. It must have been quite a sight.)

Anyway, to get me to do whatever you need me to do, being Godmother for a ship, playing the banjo at a county fair or just looking royal and snotty in your back-yard trying to impress your neighbours, I need a few things to keep me happy. Please read carefully!

Lilian's tour rider
Private room with clean showers, sink and toilets.
Banquet sized table 8' (eight feet), with linen table cloths
One small fresh fruit tray (skinned and sliced papaya, mangoes, blueberries, raspberries, oranges, pineapple)
Sliced cheese tray, 1 portion serving per cheese – Brie, Mozzarella & Cheddar
One small box of Yorkshire Gold English Tea Bags (British Import Store Item)
Four assorted sodas
Three liters Spring water for boiling
One quart (48 oz) of Ocean Spray Cranberry Juice
One case of imported British Ale.
One packet of fags, preferable Dunhills

Important: In case of a morning appearance my crew needs to be catered for (I'll have a quick shag snack in the limo on the way to the site):
Crew Breakfast (11 people)
Hot breakfast with eggs, bacon, ham. Cold whole grain cereals, donuts, yogurt and fresh fruit.

Quite a list or what? But I'm bloody well entitled to have a list like that. I'm a princess you see, and what I say goes.

See you out there!
Luv,
Lil